Signs of Emotional Abuse

About nine years ago I was involved in a long distance relationship where the emotional abuse of him started peeking out. I was in such vulnerable stage of my life where I was blind and I was unable to see how I was being treated. Until one day I finally woke up and I saw myself trapped thank God I was lucky enough to meet people who were supportive to me & woke me up.

I have learned big lessons from the experience. I can see where a kind of brainwashing occurs. It is almost like you need de-programming to recover from it, and even then, any success you have is by trial and error. It goes a little beyond enforcing boundaries, though, I think. I thought I had sufficient boundaries. What I did have was a desire to have the same kind of life my parents had–and boy was I about to get it. What I did not factor into the equation was the other half of it, really. They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and I learned how diseased the tree can be.

The cycle of abuse begins with us and ends with us. Too many are brainwashed into staying in a relationship that is dysfunctional because the relationship is the thing. Nope…the whole blood is thicker than water thing doesn’t hold up either. Wrong is wrong. Holding onto the wrong is also wrong. Only right choices can make it otherwise, and move forward from there.

Somehow out of the blue I came across this topic that I thought it would be helpful for women & men who face such ugly relationship.

Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse

By Wyatt Myers – Medically reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH

Verbal abuse is all about control — one person exerting control over the life of another. It can take many shapes and forms, some as subtle as damaging words uttered from one spouse to another, and some as overt as harsh, dominating shouts that are paired with physical abuse.“Within the context of a relationship, the emotionally abusive person makes verbal attacks to one’s character and person,” says Penny B. Donnenfeld, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in New York City. “Communications from the emotional abuser are insulting, threatening, devaluing, mocking, controlling, critical, and undermining of self-esteem and worth. Often an abuser limits one’s access to friends and family or tries to induce a sense of mistrust in others.”Since emotional abuse can occur in so many different ways, it’s often difficult for a loved one — or even the abusers themselves — to recognize the signs of emotional abuse. Making things worse is the fact that many victims of emotional abuse become “brainwashed” into believing that the abuser really cares for them.“Most victims of abuse are ashamed. They may feel that they deserve to be mistreated or that no one understands how hard their boyfriend, husband, or parent tries to take care of them,” says David Sack, MD, the CEO of Promises Treatment Centers in California and the author of many journal articles on depression. “Their abuser has often isolated them through intimidation. They are reluctant to trust others because they fear angering their abuser.”

Article continues here: http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/spotting-the-signs-of-emotional-abuse.aspx

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